My Life Has Turned Into A Big Ball of Depression and Cats Overnight

I hate it when doctors diagnose people with all types of shit..Just because they find a new disease everyday..It's like everyone has a disease..You blink too much, you have blinkitis..You flirt too much you have low self-esteem and that's your way of building it up..Everyone is familiar with niggeritis..Like HOW offense is that fake ass illneess? You eat and then you instantly become sleepy..Who the fuck came up with this bullshit? You drink too much you're an alcoholic..You watch TV every night before bed you're addicted to TV..The shit never ends.Life is just a big fucking label..you know? Anywhoo, back to MY life. I'd like to think that I think too hard..Too critical about everything. I think about death WAY too much..I guess it's because I'm getting older..Birthdays aren't birthdays anymore..They aren't happy and I don't get balloons. I could give a fuck 'less about the presents..It's more like, "Damnit. I'm 20 now..Next year I'll be 21..That's a year closer to death" Depressing much? I'd like to think so. I think about the fact that in 20 years I'll be 40..In 30 years I'll be 50..and I haven't even lived my life. Im a relgious leader only on Sundays..a bit hypoctrical and a lot stagnant..Pretty fucked up right? Like, I don't want to be almost 70..and only remember my life for being at Duke Ellington High School..that's like my ONLY good memory. Who wants to die with a bullshit life? Like what the fuck would they say in my obituary? "Gwin was a cool....um..woman..and um... her name was cool? And um...she changed her name a lot..and um..yeah..?" Pretty much.