Usually people start letters with Dear..
However, that would make me too fond of you...And I'm not.
I don't know you..I knew you..
I don't remember if I loved you as much as I think I did..
However, I did love you..
Your breath used to smell of pudding and rice cakes..
People say you spat me out head first..
Never was one to land on my feet..
I have no balance and no rhythm..Like you.
Dad, I know how to suck dick now..
Sucked my first one when I was 17..
Dad, I know how to take dick now..
Took my first one when I was 18.
I have a boyfriend and sometimes I call him Daddy when we fuckin'..
I used to feel reaaaaaaal guilty about it, but now it just comes out..
As if he were my natural father.
As if he changed my pampers and washed out old cereal bowls from breakfast two days ago...
Dad..Everytime I close my eyes, your there..
Whispering how much you love me..
It hurts to hear..
As it escapes from your tight throat and slides through your gap..
Dad, I have your teeth
I used to hate the fact that I have your teeth
I used to think, "Out of ALL the things I have like moms, why couldn't I get her teeth?"
They say I talk like you too
Smell like you and laugh like you
They say aint no doubt that Im yours
Dad, I know how to manipulate people now..
They say you taught me when I was little but I don't remember you ever teaching me anything..
Except how to iron my clothes properly and that there is a such thing as a good lie and a bad lie
A good lie would be covering for you..Telling mommy that you took me to the playground and to get icecream instead of telling her that you were over Ms.Denise's house and you were making funny grunt sounds
And you had me in the living room watching old Sanford & Son episodes
A bad lie would be telling mommy the truth
Dad, I had my tongue pierced and my nose pierced
I had 5 haircuts and everytime I went to the barber shop I thought about how bad you wanted me to have long hair
I laughed and thought about how bad I wanted you to be around
But I guess both of us got lucky
I didn't get what I wanted
and you didn't get what you wanted
Dad, I love you.