Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Revised 'Are You God' Poem.. For - Lee Williams
(Obviously everything on my blog was written by yours truly..myself. Read up && enjoy)
They told me about God when I was a little girl..
Never told me how He looked though
Never told me what race He was, or the texture of His hair
Just told me He forgave peoples sins..
He healed peoples boo-boo's and made half things whole again
He made the sun rise and the moon drown..He made the stars dance with one another at night as He played slow, sad music..
So why not think that this God was my daddy?
They didn't tell me MUCH about this God man.. they didn't tell me how He looked or the texture of His hair
They told me He forgave peoples sins though --- And daddy did that
When I had an accident in my pants he forgave me..
Were you God that night Daddy?
They said He made the sun rise and the moon drown -- the stars fall in love with each other again and dance at night
Were you God daddy?
You did that ! You made the stars tango daddy! And the moon sink into the sky
Barefoot, walking in warm sand -- the sand clinging in between your toes
Me clinging to the side of your arm
I couldn't help but to think that you were God
Because THEY told me, that God was magical...God was beautiful, and he healed sick people
You healed me Daddy!
When I had a high fever and a horrible tummy ache YOU healed me..
Were you God?
Round faced, as if He who created the earth wanted your face to resemble the sun..
Jet black hair allowed my young mind to think that you were God
Cuz you didn't age...And God doesn't age right?
Your lips were wise and full..
Intellectual, English pure
You spoke eloquently.. if you weren't God, you had to be Peter
Long legs taking long steps so that I could keep up with you
They told me that God never left his people in one place for too long
That He would never forsake
I knew that you weren't God when you left.
But then you came back!
They said God ALWAYS came back for his people...
Were you God?
They told me about God when I was a little girl..
Never told me how He looked though
Never told me what race He was, or the texture of His hair
Just told me He forgave peoples sins..
He healed peoples boo-boo's and made half things whole again
He made the sun rise and the moon drown..He made the stars dance with one another at night as He played slow, sad music..
So why not think that this God was my daddy?
They didn't tell me MUCH about this God man.. they didn't tell me how He looked or the texture of His hair
They told me He forgave peoples sins though --- And daddy did that
When I had an accident in my pants he forgave me..
Were you God that night Daddy?
They said He made the sun rise and the moon drown -- the stars fall in love with each other again and dance at night
Were you God daddy?
You did that ! You made the stars tango daddy! And the moon sink into the sky
Barefoot, walking in warm sand -- the sand clinging in between your toes
Me clinging to the side of your arm
I couldn't help but to think that you were God
Because THEY told me, that God was magical...God was beautiful, and he healed sick people
You healed me Daddy!
When I had a high fever and a horrible tummy ache YOU healed me..
Were you God?
Round faced, as if He who created the earth wanted your face to resemble the sun..
Jet black hair allowed my young mind to think that you were God
Cuz you didn't age...And God doesn't age right?
Your lips were wise and full..
Intellectual, English pure
You spoke eloquently.. if you weren't God, you had to be Peter
Long legs taking long steps so that I could keep up with you
They told me that God never left his people in one place for too long
That He would never forsake
I knew that you weren't God when you left.
But then you came back!
They said God ALWAYS came back for his people...
Were you God?
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Are You God?
Barefoot, walking in warm sand..Sand clinging between your toes
Me clinging to the side of your arm..
I couldn't help but to think that you were God..
Round face shaped like the sun..
Jet black hair allowed my mind to think that you were God..
Cuz you didn't age..
Skin was perfect..
And you didn't wear shoes..
God doesn't wear shoes right?
Your lips were wise..
Full, and magical as they spoke..
Long legs taking little steps so that I could keep up with you..
Were you God?
I didn't know the meaning of father until I saw you at the airport that day
Proud look stroking your face as if you just KNEW I was imperfect and you would fix all my bruises and scrapes..
When I landed on that plane, I thought that it was too late for you to cover my bruises with the bandaids of your hand..
To kiss my boo-boos and to tell me that everything would get ALL better..
Boy, was I wrong..
You not only kissed my boo-boos but you healed them..
Are you God?
You picked me up off my feet, twirling me in thin air, causing everyone in the airport to stare..
As if I was as light as a feather..
Were you God?
When you told me your story, I didn't think that you were capable of loving me again..
But you did.
I love you...
Me clinging to the side of your arm..
I couldn't help but to think that you were God..
Round face shaped like the sun..
Jet black hair allowed my mind to think that you were God..
Cuz you didn't age..
Skin was perfect..
And you didn't wear shoes..
God doesn't wear shoes right?
Your lips were wise..
Full, and magical as they spoke..
Long legs taking little steps so that I could keep up with you..
Were you God?
I didn't know the meaning of father until I saw you at the airport that day
Proud look stroking your face as if you just KNEW I was imperfect and you would fix all my bruises and scrapes..
When I landed on that plane, I thought that it was too late for you to cover my bruises with the bandaids of your hand..
To kiss my boo-boos and to tell me that everything would get ALL better..
Boy, was I wrong..
You not only kissed my boo-boos but you healed them..
Are you God?
You picked me up off my feet, twirling me in thin air, causing everyone in the airport to stare..
As if I was as light as a feather..
Were you God?
When you told me your story, I didn't think that you were capable of loving me again..
But you did.
I love you...
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Updates,Updates,UPDATES :)
So, apparently I haven't blogged in like... 7 years, seriously lol
Im sorry about my absence guys, but I have SO much to update you on.. SERIOUSLY!
First of all, how do you like my hair? (pictured below) I LOVE it..
Im doing a protective style so that by winter my hair can be Beyonce long..Lol
Okay, so first off, I'm just coming back from that much anticipated trip..You know, the one that I was talking about a WHIIIIIILE back? Yeah, visiting my dad, twin sisters, and stepmom ^_^ I had SUCH a great time.. Prior to this trip, I hadn't seen my Dad since I was 12 years old..and I'm 20, so yeah, thats a pretty long time. When he picked me up from the airport, he literally PICKED ME UP FROM THE AIRPORT.. I ran up to him, and jumped into his arms - - - he threw me into the air just like on one of those cheesy 'reunited and it feels SOO good' movies..Seriously. My step-mom had the BIGGEST grin on her face, tears glossing in her eyes, and the twins, although it was there first time meeting me, hugged me as if they knew me since birth...they're four
Anywhoo, I stayed with my Dad for about a month and a half. You can imagine how the boyfriend felt..He was sad cuz he missed me and had the apartment all to himself. I LOVE my Dad man..seriously..He took me to see ALL of his family, which is obviously my family. I just got back to Alabama last night.. Oh, Im pregnant by the way..haha. Random right? Well yeah.. Im 17 weeks..its a GIRL and shes due January 15th..we haven't came up with a name yet.Well, we have, but we bump heads on names SO much cuz hes so boring && Im so artsy. Well, I'll keep you posted readers..I'll be back with a LOT of pics.
XOXO, CandiedAppul
Im sorry about my absence guys, but I have SO much to update you on.. SERIOUSLY!
First of all, how do you like my hair? (pictured below) I LOVE it..
Im doing a protective style so that by winter my hair can be Beyonce long..Lol
Okay, so first off, I'm just coming back from that much anticipated trip..You know, the one that I was talking about a WHIIIIIILE back? Yeah, visiting my dad, twin sisters, and stepmom ^_^ I had SUCH a great time.. Prior to this trip, I hadn't seen my Dad since I was 12 years old..and I'm 20, so yeah, thats a pretty long time. When he picked me up from the airport, he literally PICKED ME UP FROM THE AIRPORT.. I ran up to him, and jumped into his arms - - - he threw me into the air just like on one of those cheesy 'reunited and it feels SOO good' movies..Seriously. My step-mom had the BIGGEST grin on her face, tears glossing in her eyes, and the twins, although it was there first time meeting me, hugged me as if they knew me since birth...they're four
Anywhoo, I stayed with my Dad for about a month and a half. You can imagine how the boyfriend felt..He was sad cuz he missed me and had the apartment all to himself. I LOVE my Dad man..seriously..He took me to see ALL of his family, which is obviously my family. I just got back to Alabama last night.. Oh, Im pregnant by the way..haha. Random right? Well yeah.. Im 17 weeks..its a GIRL and shes due January 15th..we haven't came up with a name yet.Well, we have, but we bump heads on names SO much cuz hes so boring && Im so artsy. Well, I'll keep you posted readers..I'll be back with a LOT of pics.
XOXO, CandiedAppul
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Reunited And It Feels SOOOOOOO Good.
When I was little, I used to have dreams about what I was going to say to my Daddy when I finally got a chance to see him..
I used to practive OVER and OVER in a mirror..
I used to put on high heels and nylon tights in that mirror so that I could get a confidence boost and grown up words could come out easier..
I used to think I'd say something like, "You know..It was reaaaal selfish to start a new family and leave the one that you never finished wit' behind.. That wasn't clever dude" and then I'd walk off reaaaaal cool with a cigar...or a toothpick in my mouth..and theme music would come on..
And then I had the scenario that Luther Vandross song "Dance With My Father" would come on.. he'd ask me to dance, and we'd dance to that song 100 times, until my feet ached and his hands hurt..
Now that opportunity is finally here..None of that happened
I cried a little..
And got over that.
You see, all the mean angry sad stuff I'd prepared to say to my Daddy didn't happen
Why ?
Because I was too caught up on talking to him..
And although we hadn't seen each other in YEARS, we didn't have to catch up.
Its like he sensed everything..
He knew what my hardships were
He knew where my struggles were
Its like he never missed an argument between me and my mom
Never missed my first nose bleed (im kidding..my nose has NEVER bled before)
My first period
Or first boyfriend..
Its like he never left.
I used to practive OVER and OVER in a mirror..
I used to put on high heels and nylon tights in that mirror so that I could get a confidence boost and grown up words could come out easier..
I used to think I'd say something like, "You know..It was reaaaal selfish to start a new family and leave the one that you never finished wit' behind.. That wasn't clever dude" and then I'd walk off reaaaaal cool with a cigar...or a toothpick in my mouth..and theme music would come on..
And then I had the scenario that Luther Vandross song "Dance With My Father" would come on.. he'd ask me to dance, and we'd dance to that song 100 times, until my feet ached and his hands hurt..
Now that opportunity is finally here..None of that happened
I cried a little..
And got over that.
You see, all the mean angry sad stuff I'd prepared to say to my Daddy didn't happen
Why ?
Because I was too caught up on talking to him..
And although we hadn't seen each other in YEARS, we didn't have to catch up.
Its like he sensed everything..
He knew what my hardships were
He knew where my struggles were
Its like he never missed an argument between me and my mom
Never missed my first nose bleed (im kidding..my nose has NEVER bled before)
My first period
Or first boyfriend..
Its like he never left.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
If *inspired by Miya Nashonne*
If I were a month, I'd be December
If I were a day, I'd be Sunday - Sundays aint easy like they say
If I were a time of the day, I'd be 7 PM
If I were a planet, I'd be Mars
If I were a sea animal, I'd be a hermit crab
If I were a direction, I'd be nowhere
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be a Queen sized bed with 7 people on it
If I were a liquid, I'd be Chocolate Soy Milk
If I were a gemstone, I'd be a Jade
If I were a tree, I'd be a peach tree - James and the GIANT peach tree
If I were a tool, I'd be a hammer
If I were a flower, I'd be a White Orchid
If I were a kind of weather, I too would be summer rain
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be a violen or a mouth
If I were a color, I'd be a royal blue or a fuzzy peach -- perhaps even black
If I were an emotion I'd be jealous
If I were a fruit, I'd be a grapefruit
If I were a sound, I'd be the note that you never heard from Otis Redding while he was singin' in the shower..
I'd be an infants cry
If I were an element I'd be poetry
If I were a car, I'd be a yellow punch buggy
If I were a food, I'd be flavorless tofu
If I were a place, I'd be here
If I were a material, I'd be cheap silk
If I were a taste, I'd be sweet at first with a bitter aftertaste
If I were a scent, I'd be Morrocan oils mixed with sex
If I were an object, I'd be a boat
If I were a body part, I'd be a breast
If I were a facial expression, I'd be concerned
If I were a song, I'd be any of Priscilla Ahn's songs
If I were a pair of shoes, I'd be anything without a heel..Dr Martin..yeah, Dr Martins..
If I were a day, I'd be Sunday - Sundays aint easy like they say
If I were a time of the day, I'd be 7 PM
If I were a planet, I'd be Mars
If I were a sea animal, I'd be a hermit crab
If I were a direction, I'd be nowhere
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be a Queen sized bed with 7 people on it
If I were a liquid, I'd be Chocolate Soy Milk
If I were a gemstone, I'd be a Jade
If I were a tree, I'd be a peach tree - James and the GIANT peach tree
If I were a tool, I'd be a hammer
If I were a flower, I'd be a White Orchid
If I were a kind of weather, I too would be summer rain
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be a violen or a mouth
If I were a color, I'd be a royal blue or a fuzzy peach -- perhaps even black
If I were an emotion I'd be jealous
If I were a fruit, I'd be a grapefruit
If I were a sound, I'd be the note that you never heard from Otis Redding while he was singin' in the shower..
I'd be an infants cry
If I were an element I'd be poetry
If I were a car, I'd be a yellow punch buggy
If I were a food, I'd be flavorless tofu
If I were a place, I'd be here
If I were a material, I'd be cheap silk
If I were a taste, I'd be sweet at first with a bitter aftertaste
If I were a scent, I'd be Morrocan oils mixed with sex
If I were an object, I'd be a boat
If I were a body part, I'd be a breast
If I were a facial expression, I'd be concerned
If I were a song, I'd be any of Priscilla Ahn's songs
If I were a pair of shoes, I'd be anything without a heel..Dr Martin..yeah, Dr Martins..
Monday, May 24, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
My Life Has Turned Into A Big Ball of Depression and Cats Overnight
I hate it when doctors diagnose people with all types of shit..Just because they find a new disease everyday..It's like everyone has a disease..You blink too much, you have blinkitis..You flirt too much you have low self-esteem and that's your way of building it up..Everyone is familiar with niggeritis..Like HOW offense is that fake ass illneess? You eat and then you instantly become sleepy..Who the fuck came up with this bullshit? You drink too much you're an alcoholic..You watch TV every night before bed you're addicted to TV..The shit never ends.Life is just a big fucking label..you know? Anywhoo, back to MY life. I'd like to think that I think too hard..Too critical about everything. I think about death WAY too much..I guess it's because I'm getting older..Birthdays aren't birthdays anymore..They aren't happy and I don't get balloons. I could give a fuck 'less about the presents..It's more like, "Damnit. I'm 20 now..Next year I'll be 21..That's a year closer to death" Depressing much? I'd like to think so. I think about the fact that in 20 years I'll be 40..In 30 years I'll be 50..and I haven't even lived my life. Im a relgious leader only on Sundays..a bit hypoctrical and a lot stagnant..Pretty fucked up right? Like, I don't want to be almost 70..and only remember my life for being at Duke Ellington High School..that's like my ONLY good memory. Who wants to die with a bullshit life? Like what the fuck would they say in my obituary? "Gwin was a cool....um..woman..and um... her name was cool? And um...she changed her name a lot..and um..yeah..?" Pretty much.
My Man (Pt II)
Yes, I know my man aint no damn Denzel Washington
He dont got swag like Rick Ross or Trey Songz
But he's my man..
He don't look like Idris Elba or act like Common
But he treats me like a Queen.
He dont got swag like Rick Ross or Trey Songz
But he's my man..
He don't look like Idris Elba or act like Common
But he treats me like a Queen.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Letter to Dad. (Note to readers: This piece of prose is a bit vulgar.For adult eyes only)
Usually people start letters with Dear..
However, that would make me too fond of you...And I'm not.
I don't know you..I knew you..
I don't remember if I loved you as much as I think I did..
However, I did love you..
Your breath used to smell of pudding and rice cakes..
People say you spat me out head first..
Never was one to land on my feet..
I have no balance and no rhythm..Like you.
Dad, I know how to suck dick now..
Sucked my first one when I was 17..
Dad, I know how to take dick now..
Took my first one when I was 18.
I have a boyfriend and sometimes I call him Daddy when we fuckin'..
I used to feel reaaaaaaal guilty about it, but now it just comes out..
As if he were my natural father.
As if he changed my pampers and washed out old cereal bowls from breakfast two days ago...
Dad..Everytime I close my eyes, your there..
Whispering how much you love me..
It hurts to hear..
As it escapes from your tight throat and slides through your gap..
Dad, I have your teeth
I used to hate the fact that I have your teeth
I used to think, "Out of ALL the things I have like moms, why couldn't I get her teeth?"
They say I talk like you too
Smell like you and laugh like you
They say aint no doubt that Im yours
Dad, I know how to manipulate people now..
They say you taught me when I was little but I don't remember you ever teaching me anything..
Except how to iron my clothes properly and that there is a such thing as a good lie and a bad lie
A good lie would be covering for you..Telling mommy that you took me to the playground and to get icecream instead of telling her that you were over Ms.Denise's house and you were making funny grunt sounds
And you had me in the living room watching old Sanford & Son episodes
A bad lie would be telling mommy the truth
Dad, I had my tongue pierced and my nose pierced
I had 5 haircuts and everytime I went to the barber shop I thought about how bad you wanted me to have long hair
I laughed and thought about how bad I wanted you to be around
But I guess both of us got lucky
I didn't get what I wanted
and you didn't get what you wanted
Dad, I love you.
However, that would make me too fond of you...And I'm not.
I don't know you..I knew you..
I don't remember if I loved you as much as I think I did..
However, I did love you..
Your breath used to smell of pudding and rice cakes..
People say you spat me out head first..
Never was one to land on my feet..
I have no balance and no rhythm..Like you.
Dad, I know how to suck dick now..
Sucked my first one when I was 17..
Dad, I know how to take dick now..
Took my first one when I was 18.
I have a boyfriend and sometimes I call him Daddy when we fuckin'..
I used to feel reaaaaaaal guilty about it, but now it just comes out..
As if he were my natural father.
As if he changed my pampers and washed out old cereal bowls from breakfast two days ago...
Dad..Everytime I close my eyes, your there..
Whispering how much you love me..
It hurts to hear..
As it escapes from your tight throat and slides through your gap..
Dad, I have your teeth
I used to hate the fact that I have your teeth
I used to think, "Out of ALL the things I have like moms, why couldn't I get her teeth?"
They say I talk like you too
Smell like you and laugh like you
They say aint no doubt that Im yours
Dad, I know how to manipulate people now..
They say you taught me when I was little but I don't remember you ever teaching me anything..
Except how to iron my clothes properly and that there is a such thing as a good lie and a bad lie
A good lie would be covering for you..Telling mommy that you took me to the playground and to get icecream instead of telling her that you were over Ms.Denise's house and you were making funny grunt sounds
And you had me in the living room watching old Sanford & Son episodes
A bad lie would be telling mommy the truth
Dad, I had my tongue pierced and my nose pierced
I had 5 haircuts and everytime I went to the barber shop I thought about how bad you wanted me to have long hair
I laughed and thought about how bad I wanted you to be around
But I guess both of us got lucky
I didn't get what I wanted
and you didn't get what you wanted
Dad, I love you.
Why Do We Upload A Gazzillion Pics Of Us A Day?
While on twitter..Tweet stalking and trying to find out some good gossip, like every good girl would, I ran across a tweet from a girl named Tyra Crashleigh..Cool name right? Well, this young girl speaks TRUTH..Not to mention that she's still in highschool. I don't remember her tweet verbatim, but I know it was something like, "People take a million pics of themselves daily to remind themselves how good they look"..When she wrote that quote, I instantly thought of myself..Not because Im concieted or vain or in love with my eyes and lips, but because that quote was SO true.. We do..We need a constant reminder that we are who we say we are..That we're beautiful..That's why humans thrive off of compliments..We like to hear other people say that we're gorgeous..That we have nice bodys and beautiful, flowing hair..It wouldn't be any fun walking around giving ourSELVES compliments all day right? Welp, just to conclude this blog post..Tyra girl! I really appreciated that tweet! Not only was it truth, but it was in raw form..Not sugar-coated..Not drained with water, or not adding flavor.. Thanks for that :)
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
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