When I was little, I used to have dreams about what I was going to say to my Daddy when I finally got a chance to see him..
I used to practive OVER and OVER in a mirror..
I used to put on high heels and nylon tights in that mirror so that I could get a confidence boost and grown up words could come out easier..
I used to think I'd say something like, "You know..It was reaaaal selfish to start a new family and leave the one that you never finished wit' behind.. That wasn't clever dude" and then I'd walk off reaaaaal cool with a cigar...or a toothpick in my mouth..and theme music would come on..
And then I had the scenario that Luther Vandross song "Dance With My Father" would come on.. he'd ask me to dance, and we'd dance to that song 100 times, until my feet ached and his hands hurt..
Now that opportunity is finally here..None of that happened
I cried a little..
And got over that.
You see, all the mean angry sad stuff I'd prepared to say to my Daddy didn't happen
Why ?
Because I was too caught up on talking to him..
And although we hadn't seen each other in YEARS, we didn't have to catch up.
Its like he sensed everything..
He knew what my hardships were
He knew where my struggles were
Its like he never missed an argument between me and my mom
Never missed my first nose bleed (im kidding..my nose has NEVER bled before)
My first period
Or first boyfriend..
Its like he never left.